Gone: Any Record of A Possible Love Life
By Betsy Richter | 2:05 pmYes, I had a historical record of the fact that I might have had a post-divorce romantic past once upon a time. Yes, it was a nuanced, rich introspective and/or hysterically amusing in a ‘oh my GOD, she’s sharing THAT’ kind of way.
Today, in a fit of over-organization (that attacked the exact WRONG problem I was having on this blog, incidentally), I blew 7 years of history away. I didn’t delete the posts themselves — they’re still buried somewhere in the far distant past. But they’re just not called out in any meaningful categorical way. If I can’t find them by searching for a remembered word or phrase, well — then neither can you. And maybe that’s for the best.
Sure, some of the writing might have been pretty evocative. The post that prompted the fit to reorganize contained one little snippet — “kisses on the back of my neck” — that spawned a bittersweet trip down a long-overgrown memory lane that stays with me even now, for example. But the rest of it made me feel like I was exposed… raw… vulnerable. It made me uncomfortable. And some (if not all) of it felt indulgent when I looked back years later.
But isn’t that the way blog writing works, when done well, you ask? Doesn’t it pull on emotions, or invoke shared memories by pulling that thread that unravels, perhaps? And isn’t that part of what I advocate in my travels elsewhere online — be transparent? Authentic? Honest?
Yep. And I’m a hypocrite. Because while I value it when others are raw, honest, open, or transparent, well — I just don’t have it in me to wade back through the 500-odd posts stored in my primary category (the ironically titled ‘Boss Lady’) to restore them to their rightful place as the partial history of my love life — warts, indulgences and all.
So while I might tweet about my bourbon preferences on Twitter, for example — I’m just not up to sharing just who I might be drinking said bourbon with. Or (more likely) to whine about the fact that — as the song laments — “I drink alone…”
And you know? That’s just going to have to be okay with y’all for now…
Topics: Oversharing | No Comments »
I Know, I Know…
By Betsy Richter | 1:08 pm…I make promises I just can’t seem to keep at the end of the day.
This poor little neglected blog? Yes, it’s been neglected.
But while I’ve made some grand new resolutions about regular updates, a pending site redesign, and a change in both tone and focus, well — we all know (or at least the 7 of you still reading here know) just how likely that might be.
So if you’re still reading? Add a note of encouragement below, won’t you? And tell me what you’d like to know more of, or in what direction you’d like to see me go.
To prime the pump? In true ‘help me help myself’ here’s a list of possible options:
- More…
- Drink recipes
- Food recipes
- Kid stories
- Deep introspection
- Snark
- Embarrassing Personal Revelations
- Amusing observations
- …why don’t you just try More Posts In General?
- Less…
- well, you fill in the blanks below
Topics: Boss Lady | 5 Comments »
“Parenting” in the New Year…
By Betsy Richter | 11:28 amWhen tween asked me oh-so-very-nicely if she could have a sleepover on New Years’ Eve, I sighed… waffled for a day or so… hoped she’d forget about it already… and then finally acceded — against my better judgment.
Two dramatic tweens in my very small living space at full volume & all psyched about staying up until midnight? Kill. Me. Now.
Until I saw the tweets flying about low low low hotel rates for NYE, that is. From nice hotels in the PDX downtown area, even.
And then I made one of the smartest “parenting” decisions I’ve made in quite some time. Why not get a hotel room for the three of us instead?
Why not? Well, it’s not as if I’m independently wealthy, for starters. But after I did the math, I realized that I’d spent more on NYE in years past — with far more marginal results. (I’d like to have the money I spent back in the day to make a very fancy-schmancy dinner at home for at least one relationship that later crashed & burned, for example.) Why not make this a NY that we’d both remember? With a bonus gift for the teen, who’d not have to endure 2 girls cluttering up his living space, besides?
So I congratulated myself on my brilliant idea & started the hotel search — only to run into the first roadblock: Cranky buzzkill teen himself (as expressed in several text messages…).
I think a hotel room is overkill, especially for a sleepover…
This just sounds…Dumb. I really don’t see the point at all. It’s just a waste…
I think all around it’s a bad and unnecessary idea…
(and this kicker…)
Recipe for disaster, in my opinion.
Did I end up listening to him? Of course not. (Would you?)
And after putting my superior Internet juju to work, I managed to score a two-room suite at a place we’d been before near the house. A hotel with room service and a pool — for far less than I’d blown on several failed NYEs in the past. (If I told you how little I paid? You’d want to kill me….)
The girls spent most of their time in the pool. When they finally got tossed out of said pool at 11 pm, they then hung out in the living room, snacking and giggling and being excited! tween! girls!
I hung out in my own room, curled up on a king sized bed with a book, my iPhone and a bottle of wine. Thoroughly enjoying the peace & quiet.
My tween thinks I completely and totally rock. (It’s credit I’ll surely need in the years to come, no?)
And the teen ended up coming around to my superior POV, as expected (although he’ll never, ever admit it..).
The beginning of 2010 is already looking much more peaceful. And the moral of the story?
When the teen says you have a horrible idea? Run with it already….!
(…there will be a future rant later on about I hate the use of “parent” as a verb, oh yes there will…)
Topics: Bossing the Kids, Drama Mama | 2 Comments »
Retrospective
By Betsy Richter | 1:53 pmIt’s been an interesting four days.
The kids are gone on their usual Christmas celebratory long weekend with their father. Since I no longer celebrate Christmas & their Jewish father does? It’s a win-win for us all: I get some much-needed alone time, while they get the gifts they’d not get here anyway plus extra time with their Dad. And I’m much more calm about it than I’ve been in years past — even the reappearance of the Christmas boxes from the basement (used to decorate someone else’s tree) didn’t make me want one of my own this year.
I’m much more calm in general, I think. Where being the fifth wheel at an aggressively-coupled event used to throw me for a loop, I now bill myself as comic relief & escape when it gets a bit much. Or I schedule my own fun, take my own breaks — do what *I* want to do.
This holiday weekend? One of the best ever. Whether it was having an impromptu Christmas Day dim sum brunch with friends, a relaxed Christmas dinner with friends I’ve known for years, phone calls or Facebook updates to relatives now miles away, or time spent curled up on the couch with a glass of wine, my music & a book — it was more than I expected; far more than I could have asked for.
My more material friends will certainly want to know — “What’d you GET? What’d you BUY?” And they’ll be bitterly disappointed with the lack of a tangible haul of gifts, of stuff.
But I was blessed in oh, so many intangible ways. Whether it’s the joy of finding the perfect gift for a mostly-housebound parent who loves her television (year-long Netflix subscription FTW) or the chance to reconnect with people I’ve let slip away for far too long or the opportunity to say ‘thank you’ or ‘you matter’ or ‘I love you’ to the people in my life now? All priceless.
I know that 2009 has been a brutal year for many, and I’ve been lucky to escape most of its wrath. But I’ve been lucky in oh, so many other ways this year. And I have this funny feeling that my luck just might continue on into 2010…
…but only if you’re part of it as well.
Topics: Boss Lady | No Comments »
Chinese Food on Christmas
By Betsy Richter | 3:10 pm(I’m partial to Szechwan Noble House on Macadam myself…)
Topics: Playful Whimsy | No Comments »
