My Whim is Law

…where a single parent in Portland still believes that wishing will make it so…

So – what do we eat, anyway?

That’s the question I keep getting from friends who know I’m doing the whole Paleo thing – especially if they also know just how much my two snarky teenagers (gee, wonder where they get that from?) dislike “that whole Paleo shit”, to quote #HeTeen.

Because we are Busy People, I rarely make a dinner that we can all enjoy together. Instead, I make stuff – they can eat some of it, if they choose. I can eat all of it at first if I remove my portion first – but may add in stuff that makes it no longer suitable for me (adding cheese to scrambled eggs in the AM for #SheTeen, for example.) And I buy crappy stuff that they also choose to supplement their meals with.

Yeah, it’s complicated. My grocery cart starts out looking great as I make my way through the produce section, meat section and natural foods area.

But as I move to the middle of the store (and pull in things like Campbell’s soup, string cheese, boxed macaroni & cheese and frozen corn dogs – all added to the shopping list by my kids – I want to put a disclaimer on the cart:

  • I’m eating The Good Stuff.
  • The teens are eating The Crap.

(Yes, I know I could just not buy The Crap. That’s just not a viable option right now – trust me. And I’ll discuss just why I still buy The Crap in a future blog post, where I will invite you to castigate me over —-> there when it’s time. [Besides, there’s a method to my madness, which I’ll divulge as well…] Got it? Good…)

Here’s what dinners looked like last week:

    turkey-chard stirfry

    HeTeen didn't approve

  • Monday: ground turkey w/red peppers, delicata squash,onion & chard – added jar of chili sauce near the end of cooking. (Kid reaction: whattheHELL? Yet they ate it…)
  • Tuesday: broiled ribeye steak, brussels sprouts cooked in bacon fat/bits of bacon, with chard added to the pan as well. (Kid reaction: you’re having STEAK while we’re out for dinner with dad? Me: Hell, yeah – with enough left over to add to tomorrow’s salad, no less…)
  • Wednesday: #SheTeen & I had evening appt at synagogue; she gets dinner as part of the package there. I made do with brussels sprouts & bacon when I got home full of crank at 9 that evening. (I’ve been ODing on brussels sprouts this week – love them!) #HeTeen ate something, and I have no clue what that something might have been… (Nope, I don’t monitor his food intake, ever. It’s a perk of living with an 18-year old.)
  • Thursday:teriyaki chicken thighs cooked over bed of onions (I’d dumped thighs in homemade tamari (no-wheat soy sauce) marinade when I bought them & packaged it for freezer a month or so ago.) Made brown basmati rice in beef broth/coconut milk while chicken baked, did a quick savoy/regular cabbage stir-fry w/peppers & the rest of the chard as well. (Kid reaction: this rice is “disgusting”; white rice now on grocery list. Rest of dinner got a grudging “fine”. Except for the onions, which were “Great!” #HeTeen believes that all entrees should consist of 3 things – meat, sauce & onions.)
  • Friday: #SheTeen off for weekend w/dad, #HeTeen was supposed to be as well, but wasn’t. I don’t cook for my kids on kid-free weekends, ever – if they’re here, they get what I make or they go hungry. Or there are those corn dogs in the freezer, right? Right…

So…it’s Saturday afternoon. And I think I’m going to stroll over to Costco, renew my long-dormant membership, and see what’s available at the meat counter for next week’s meals. I still have plenty of nitrate-free bacon ends & pieces from Trader Joe’s (which I’ll use to go with roasted veggies this week), stir-fried greens (still have kale as well), or scrambled eggs. I need to grab a big pack of chicken-apple sausage (for quick breakfasts on school/work AMs), and a pound of italian sausage in bulk – will use that to make sausage/kale/squash/sweet potato soup for lunch this week. And rumor has it that Costco now has grass-fed beef – so am thinking a chuck roast or two may make sense as well. Plus eggs – we eat a lot of eggs these days.

Oh! Speaking of eggs – we ate the last of the bacon strips for breakfast yesterday as well – better add bacon to the list as well.

Because everything – even ‘those nasty, yucky dark greens you make’ – is edible once you add bacon. And while my kids may ridicule my whole paleo food regimen, they fall silent when it comes to bashing my bacon buying and/or making practices. (It gets in the way of scrambling for what they each feel is Their Fair Share of the bacon.)

See, when it comes to bacon, we are a family united: Just Buy More Bacon!

I can do that…

Posted in Bossing the Kids, Caveman Eating, Get Betsy Healthy | 3 Comments

3 Responses to So – what do we eat, anyway?

  1. This made me laugh. We recently discovered that bacon is the great equalizer, too — no matter what, if there’s bacon, we can get the 4 yo to eat whatever else goes with it.

  2. Melisa says:

    Last night there were three different dinners at our house (tuna melts and fruit for two kids + whatever they served at Havurah for the third, a mess of eggs for the husband and home fries with spinach for me) so I totally get it. Also none of these things were what was planned for dinner but everyone decided that the spinach-cheese-egg pie that was great last week would be inedible this week. I should look again at Costco for meat. We were given a membership and I went in once or twice but didn’t remember their prices being any better than New Seasons (whose meat I trust a lot more). Gonna have to squeeze
    that unemployment budget a little tighter…..

  3. Melisa – I wouldn’t buy meat from Costco, frankly – trust New Seasons’ quality, as do you – and their prices aren’t that much more, frankly (their ground beef that has 20% fat is on par with what you find in any grocery store, for example.)

    Where Costco did pay off for me was in things like a 10lb bag of onions, a vat of organic spinach, a slab of Fletcher’s bacon, or a big package of Aidell chicken-apple sausage (which is the go-to breakfast for both Z and I in the morning these days). Oh, and generic Zyrtec – enough for 365 days for 16 bucks, I believe (30 day supply at Freddy’s is around 11-12, I believe.

Surely you're not going to let me have the last word - are you?

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