My Whim is Law

…where a single parent in Portland still believes that wishing will make it so…

Comments from the snarky teens…

While the rest of the world may be impressed with the healthy changes I’ve made, my own children remain blase, unimpressed, and/or snarky.

(One would think they’d be happy about the fact that they may not have to provide expensive medical care for me way down the road someday – but apparently they weren’t going to do that anyway.)

Here’s a sampling of what I’ve heard from them lately…

On what I’m currently making for dinner:

  • “Ugh – who in the hell would eat that?”
  • “Don’t you know by now, Mom, that you don’t really know how to cook meat. It’s always dry, tough & way too chewy.” (might have something to do with the fact you want your steak medium-well, no?)
  • “Are you sure that isn’t already spoiled?” (said about a perfectly-fine pepper from the farmer’s market that wasn’t perfectly polished/waxed first)
  • “Um…no thanks, I’ll make my own (insert packaged, overly-processed pile of crap) instead.”
  • …and the ever popular

  • “When are you going to make something we’d like to eat, too?”

On what I look like these days:

  • “It looks fine, Mom.” (said about the shirt that’s hanging off one shoulder, Flashdance-style)
  • “I figured that was my package of new underwear ’cause you hate pink.”
  • “You look the same to me. Only you have [more grey hair/are wearing too much black/your clothes don’t match/a hideous shirt on/shouldn’t be wearing those shoes]”
  • “I really don’t want to hear about the size of your new pants, Mom. Ever.”

And in general (when I say this is a lifestyle, not a temporary ‘diet’ I’m on):

  • “Aren’t you ever going to have [doughnuts/brownies/ice cream/sushi rolls/pasta/bourbon/etc.) again? That’s just STUPID.” (accompanied by optional eye roll or dismissive shrug)

That said? I haven’t seen either kid consume a bowl of cereal in weeks. My daughter’s now gravitating to my breakfast food of choice (Aidell’s chicken-apple sausages). My son’s cut way back on the pre-packaged dried chow mein. My roasted veggies mysteriously disappear from the pan when I turn my back. And I’m seeing things like ‘lettuce’ ‘tomatoes’ and ‘fruit’ show up on the grocery list whiteboard on the refrigerator.

And I was never doing this to impress either (staunchly resistant) teenager anyway, was I?

Nope, never ever was.

So I’m making what I want to eat for dinner most days. Buying the pink underwear for me, not my daughter. And keeping the teflon teenage-impervious suit on 24/7.

Posted in Bossing the Kids, Caveman Eating, Get Betsy Healthy | Tagged , | 3 Comments

3 Responses to Comments from the snarky teens…

  1. Melisa says:

    This all sounds strangely familiar….

  2. Just great–so this is what I have to look forward to–my 5 and almost 4-year-old are already practicing some of the above. I must stock up on more wine as they get older.

  3. You go girl!
    Tell your kids Auntie Joanie says to cut you some slack and give you some support here!
    I am proud of you Betsy.

Surely you're not going to let me have the last word - are you?

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