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I am the Claus Killer
By Betsy Richter | 10:11 amDrama Mama – like her brother before her – has an uncanny habit of asking those tricky questions while we’re driving somewhere. On one hand, it’s easier – she can’t see my less than poker face, so I’m able to stall and scramble until I come up with a palatable answer.
On the other hand, I can’t see her face. Can’t hold her hand, or see how she’s reacting to my words.
But, while I’d rather not have to deal with the ambush while driving, well – I try to be fairly straightforward yet kind with both kids. So when DM asked me a few months ago if the Tooth Fairy was real, I hemmed, hawed – and decided to buy a little time, flipping the question back at her: “do you think she’s real?”
DM decided that she was not – but thought it was really cool that Moms and Dads colluded together to create some magic for their kids (not to mention the fact that I told her the cash for teeth drill would continue.) And she giggled hysterically when she learned her brother had actually played tooth fairy for her a few times – he’d remind me that we had to ante up and then he’d handle the exchange himself.
You know where this is going, right?
A week or so ago, DM asked me about Santa Claus while I was driving her to school. “Is he real – or is it like the Tooth Fairy?” So I took a deep breath, and told her the truth.
She seemed to take it well – she confessed that while she liked the idea, she really didn’t believe any more. And she promised to keep the news to herself, in case friends still believed.
When we stopped at school, I made a point to grab her hand and look into her eyes – my little emotional soul can latch onto painful things and hold them close to her heart. But when I asked her how she felt about it, she said she was a little sad, but “it’s OKAAAY, mom.” So I headed off to work, relieved that I’d dodged a potential bullet.
Uh, not so fast.
Last week, I picked her up from aftercare – she had dinner plans with her dad, but it was easier for me to retrieve her first & bring her home. So while we’re driving home in the car, I asked her if it’d be okay if I told Daddy that she knew the real deal about Santa Claus.
She promptly burst into unconsolable, hysterical tears. And in between hitches and gasps and fresh floods of emotion, she made it clear that she didn’t want me to tell her father. That she still wanted one more year of magic, and that she loved all of the special traditions her dad, his girlfriend, and family still wove together around Santa Claus – all for her. Because, you see, they had so much fun creating the Santa magic, and it was an important part of her holiday time with Dad.
I managed to get her calmed down by the time we got home, but she lost it again when she saw her dad. And since he wanted to know why she was so upset, she ended up confessing her newfound knowledge – but begged him not to tell anyone else, please. And he gladly agreed to keep the fiction going for another year at least (he’d have done so anyway, but those tears welling up in her eyes would have melted the most heartless Scrooge around.)
And they made me feel like the lowest worm around.
Next time someone asks me if there’s really a Santa Claus?
I’ll lie with great glee and abandon.
Better start working on that poker face…
Topics: Drama Mama | 5 Comments »
November 24th, 2007 at 11:25 am
You can rest assured that if you had opted to maintain the fiction for another year, she would have found out the truth from someone else, and then you would be dealing with “You LIED to me!!!” hysterics.
The Claus issue is a quagmire with no clear exit strategy.
November 24th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
I lie. Bald faced, and with abandon. I mean, it hurts a bit when the key piece of evidence for Santa’s existence is, “Mom would never buy us all that cool stuff.” But it’s worth it to have the magic, which I will hold on to for as long a humanly possible. And then I’ll talk Diva Girl into colluding with me in the lies.
November 24th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
And this is why I’m glad it’s never been tradition in Denmark to pretend Santa’s real. I’ve never thought Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy were real, which meant I never experienced the disappointment of discovering they were not and my parents never had to feel bad about telling me they were not.
November 25th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Ruthie knows about the Tooth Fairy and is fine with it. She is pointedly NOT asking about Santa.
November 25th, 2007 at 11:48 pm
Don’t ask, don’t tell!