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See what I live with?
By Betsy Richter | 6:40 amMy two children? They hate each other.
Well, hate is probably a bit of an exaggeration. Let’s just say they fail to appreciate the other person’s unique gifts and abilities. And when I say ‘fail’, I mean ‘react loudly and vociferously to the other person’s multiple clear and obvious flaws.’
If you’re The Mogul, you tease and torture your little sister beyond belief. If you’re Drama Mama, you melt down into a puddle of quivering protoplasm. Or you shriek loudly at him. Or both!
And if you’re me – refereeing this nonsense at 7 in the morning, no less – you think longingly about the industrial-sized Benadryl you used to have in the medicine cabinet. (For me, people – not for them. Been there, tried that…) You wonder just where that roll of duct tape got to, anyway. Or you remember your child-free days and weep.
This morning’s latest episode, however, has me holding my sides even as I search for duct tape. It started out ominously – TM thought it would be funny to wake his sister up by, um, farting near her face. And yes, much hilarity ensued.
But only if you define an angry, spitting mother and hysterical child as ‘hilarity’, that is. I demanded that he do something nice for the groggy, cranky child RIGHT NOW. So (mindful of the fact that his ride to school this morning was contingent on compliance and/or that he really didn’t want to be on the wrong side of the Wrath of Mom) the kid sidled up to his sister and started whispering sweet nothings into her ear:
What do you want this morning? I will be your Personal Jesus. You can confess all your sins to me and I will absolve you!
DM was having none of it. Her snarled response?
I’m frickin’ Jewish, remember?
Yeah, we’re all going to hell in a handbasket over here, we are. But before we do – I really need to remember to buy more Benadryl and duct tape…
Topics: Boss Lady | 6 Comments »
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:40 pm
those would make lovely additions to your costco shopping list!
November 2nd, 2007 at 5:22 pm
This may motivate you to get those supplies. I just noticed how many days the kids have off of school this month. Why do we need to have 4 day holidays, and 4 teacher work days all in the month?! Yikes, adding Benadryl and duct tape to my list too!
November 3rd, 2007 at 12:18 pm
oh, my goodness. And, you let them both live? I absolutely think that duct tape is in order. you poor thing!
November 4th, 2007 at 6:10 am
hmm… Definitely one of those times I count the middle one being autistic as a plus! the options for sibling rivalry are fewer and further between – the oldest gets annoyed with him on occasion but normally it’s not a big deal – it also helps that my oldest is a little mommy in a good way, the worst she’ll ever do to her younger siblings is lock them out of the room she’s in.
Though my middle son and the baby have quite the repertoire – I’ve had her yell and keep him from taking a snack I was giving him, so she can grab it and… give it to him… go figure …
November 4th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
You just tell them what I tell my two: “Someday, Dad and I will be dead and all you two will have left is EACH OTHER. So DEAL!” heh heh heh. Good luck with that…
November 4th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Is it wrong that I was on the side of hilarity over the wake up call? But only because I’m secretly a 12 yo boy. I am not so secretly, however, so glad that I only have girls. More shrieking, less flatulence. That’s my motto!