If I’d written…

...what I'd thought about writing last night, it'd have covered topics like these: How guzzling wine instead of water - or even in addition to water - after a day in the sun will make one stupid and giddy in no time flatEven though it's probably quite amusing for one's squeeze to see one stupid and/or giddy from time to time, one should probably try to remain coherent (or at least non-comatose) during those few brief fleeting kid-free hours. Oh, hell. If I'd written this last night, I'd not have used two-dollar words like "coherent." And I'd have dropped all this pretentious 'one' nonsense. Instead, it would have been a pretty incoherent story about sex, salsa, and [Read more...]

Phoning it in poolside…

(No, not really. I haven't figured out how to do so from my cell phone, and my mythical laptop is still a gleam in someone's eye...) Thanks to free open swim on Wednesdays, we were all pool-bound from mid-day on. And although I moved to the shade midway through, I'm still sporting random patches of farmer tan on my forearms, knees, and one calf. (Thankfully, Drama Mama is old enough and calm enough where my constant shadowing - interspersed with random apologies towards those she'd crashed into and/or splashed and/or plowed over - is no longer necessary, so I did not suit up today.) Slushies, popcorn, creamsicles and overpriced nachos were all consumed (ah - nothing like [Read more...]

Meet my new daughter

Thankfully, she's the same size as my other daughter. She shares the same love for glitz and sequins and/or pink. She's outgoing, exuberant, and loves swimming. In fact, that's where I found her today - in the swimming pool at our local park. I'm watching the child I used to know as Drama Mama in swim class. The teacher's counting off the kids for the lead instructor, points at the kid I thought I'd already named once upon a time, and calls her Sarah. And my child? Raises her hand when he calls - while grinning gleefully at me when she sees I've registered the name change. The poor instructor starts flippping through her book looking for the mythical Sarah, while I'm [Read more...]

It started with just one…

..pancake, that is. Drama Mama loves pancakes - yet I like to save them for special occasions. Weekends, sleepovers, something worthy of dragging the griddle out for and making a production of (extra pancakes get frozen for later toaster action on busy mornings.) She's been asking for them for days now - yet I wasn't going to drag everything out for just one pancake, since that's typically all she'll eat. (Mogul's not a huge pancake fan.) But I caved this morning, figuring I could use the Perfect Pancake Maker for its intended purpose for a change and save the rest of the batter for later. You already know how this story is going to end up, right? First, DM got hers. [Read more...]

You reap what you sow, I suppose

Oh, my. Is it any wonder that my children have inherited my smartass ways? After my lecture about cooperation and sibling respect this evening, Drama Mama reworked this parentally-coached dialogue - "I'll listen to you - can you listen to me, please?" - into this: "If you listen to my words, then I'll listen to your words." And The Mogul? He took a touching bedtime story, coupled with a request from me to 'look deep inside and tell your sibling what you really feel about him/her' (yes, I'm desperate) and twisted it thusly: "Deep down inside, we love ruining moments like this." Oh, Mogul? Those Daily Show episodes on TiVo? Consider yourself cut off....